Most industry events still feel designed for men, especially in tech, where women remain underrepresented. So being invited to Industry Icons: Women in Tech, hosted by Dell Technologies, Microsoft, Intel, and Halcyon, felt different from the start. No golf metaphors. No sports small talk. Just brilliant women, real conversations and space to show up fully as ourselves.
Over two days in Santa Barbara, yes, including a stop at the iconic Godmothers Books bookstore and an unforgettable evening at the Santa Barbara International Film Festival honoring Ethan Hawke—we gathered without slides, prep work, or expectations. The charge was simple but powerful: own a seat at the table and help shape the future of technology and leadership.
What followed was one of the most energizing and mindset-shifting experiences of my career.
The Power of Perspective
The room spanned generations and leadership levels, offering a rare longitudinal view of progress. We laughed about pantyhose requirements of the past and celebrated the women who made sure those “rules” disappeared. It made me pause and ask: What barriers is my generation dismantling for those coming next?
Mentors, Advocates, Sponsors and Why It Matters
One recurring theme landed hard: career growth rarely happens alone. When I asked how so many women reached their roles, the answer wasn’t a checklist of credentials, it was sponsorship.
We defined the distinction clearly:
- Mentor: I will guide and coach you.
- Advocate: I will speak up for you.
- Sponsor: I will use my power to help you advance.
That clarity was a lightbulb moment and one I now actively apply, both for myself and for others.
Strengths > Fixating on Weaknesses
During Stacey Cameron’s panel, “The Stories That Shape Us,” another idea clicked. Research shows weaknesses grow marginally, while strengths can grow exponentially. Her advice: mitigate weaknesses but invest deeply in strengths.
It sounds obvious. It isn’t. Especially for women.
This brought me back to a formative leadership exercise at Oxford, where I was asked to conduct a professional choir without knowing the music or their roles. The lesson? Leadership isn’t about mastering every part, it’s about trusting experts, setting direction and guiding the group toward a shared outcome. That realization still shapes how I lead teams today.
From Work-Life Balance to Work-Life Optimization
Another reframe that resonated: there is no such thing as perfect work-life balance. We’re human, not machines. Work and life bleed and that’s okay. The goal is work-life optimization.
This aligns deeply with how I lead: trust, flexibility, accountability and grace. Vet appointments. Kids’ games. Midday haircuts. Life happens and strong teams thrive when leaders acknowledge that. (Also, yes, my two energetic boys have absolutely cameoed in work calls.)
Networking with Purpose
A dinner conversation with Christy Nelson challenged me on a personal growth edge: networking. Her framework was simple and powerful, think of your network across four quadrants:
- Professional (internal)
- Professional (external)
- Personal community
- Personal family
Intentional networking, she said, isn’t transactional, it’s human connection with purpose. Careers are rarely linear and your next opportunity may come from a quadrant you’ve neglected.
Walking Through “Paper Doors”
One of the most impactful metaphors came from Jennifer Hewit: obstacles are paper doors. Some are thin as rice paper, others layered cardboard, but all are passable with preparation and confidence.
That metaphor became real when Jen and Christy encouraged me to approach an event sponsor I admired. Despite appearing extroverted, self-doubt had quietly erected a rice-paper door. With their coaching, I walked through it and felt stronger for having done so.
So, where do we start?
- Seek mentors, advocates and sponsors and be one for others.
- Network intentionally. The ROI is real.
- Lean into your strengths. Celebrate wins.
- Remember: effective communication is an art of leadership.
As Christy said, “We’ve gifted you the keys to a door you didn’t even know you needed.” If this reflection unlocks something for you, even a small shift, then it’s done its job.
💡 Let’s keep opening doors.
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